by Stefanie Estes
Recently, I had the opportunity to take an intensive active listening course on Udemy.com. I was interested in incorporating the skill into my everyday professional interactions. Active listening is essentially giving a speaker your full and undistracted attention, and, upon reflection, I found that the tools I learned during the course would also be quite useful in parenting my school-aged children. Therefore, I present the dos and don’ts of effective active listeners in the following list:
- Do pay attention to body language and tone
Note your child’s feelings and non-verbal cues in your feedback – If you notice that your child’s tone is off or that their shoulders are slumped, say something like, “You don’t sound/look so happy about that.”
- Don’t offer your internal judge’s response
That voice that scares you away from doing/saying things is your internal judge. Putting your own fears, your own judge, at the forefront of a conversation is not constructive.
- Do try to keep an open mind
If you ask probing, non-judgmental questions, your child will be more likely to realize possible stumbling blocks in their plans on their own through talking it out with you.
- Don’t attempt to mind-read or multi-task
Interrupting with what you think your child will say next interrupts their thought process, and by ignoring your buzzing phone when your child speaks, you are indicating to them that their words are important.
- Do ask clarifying questions
Active listening does not mean that you passively wait to interrupt as your child tells you a long story about their day. It is important to interrupt with clarifying questions to gain insight as you remain focused on what your child is trying to say.
- Remember: “My presence is a present and I am an ally.”
Active listening is an investment in your relationship with your child.
Source: Powers, Lauren. “Active Listening: You Can Be a Great Listener.” Udemy. Accessed October 25, 2022. https://www.udemy.com/course/active-listening-you-can-be-a-great-listener/.
Rene is now a healthy 2-year- old that still loves to read. Recently, we met with his mother, Erika, to talk about why she loves reading with Rene and her 6-year-old daughter, Alondra.
Have you ever wondered who decides which books to purchase for our clinics? Or who organizes our book drives and deliveries? Meet Janice, our book coordinator of over 15 years. She’s responsible for purchasing, organizing, and managing the delivery of over 83,000 books to our 51 partner clinics. Recently, Janice joined us to talk about her important role as RORKC’S book coordinator.
Tanya is a partner at Deacy & Deacy Law Firm. A practicing lawyer for over 11 years, she is licensed in both Missouri and Kansas. Her love of reading and being a member of the Greater Kansas City Pi Beta Phi Alumnae group introduced Tanya to Reach Out and Read Kansas City in 2014, when she first attended the Green Eggs and Ham Breakfast. She shares this about the importance of reading:
Elizabeth Vasquez is a Physician’s Assistant at Health Partners Olathe, a Reach Out and Read KC partner clinic. She delivers the Reach Out and Read program to the children and families she sees in her practice and represents their sites (Olathe and Growing Futures) at our quarterly Clinic Coalition meetings. Elizabeth holds a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and a Master of Science degree in Physician Assistant Studies. Along with a love for reading and sharing books, she has a deep understanding of the need for and importance of our program and its role in fostering learning and healthy brain development. She says the following about her love of reading:
We are thrilled to welcome our new Communications Specialist, Sydney Milner. Sydney joins our team as a full-time volunteer through the AmeriCorps VISTA program.
Adolescent mothers are more likely to experience maternal depression. This is likely a cause of the elevated language delay for their children, since depression can impair a mother’s ability to be a responsive caregiver. Fortunately, reading aloud together encourages mothers to enjoy time spent with children while doing something fun and interactive, resulting in healthier attachments and reduced depression.
Dr. Dana Suskind makes a similar point in her book “Thirty Million Words: Building a Child’s Brain.” In this book, Dr. Suskind lists three guidelines for improving a child’s brain development:
